Warning: IUD talk

This morning I had my IUD inserted. All in all, the procedure was less painful than I anticipated and the post-insertion cramping was much more painful than I expected (in fact, I was so worried about the insertion that I completely forgot that it might hurt after. I started taking advil the night before and based on my sister's recommendation, I asked the doctor to numb my cervix. It always feels a little bit like being a car at the mechanic when you're up in the stirrups with the speculum and this was no exception to that rule. There was pressure at the injection (like when you get your mouth numbed at the Dentist), and definite pressure with a cramp at the dilation. The actual IUD insertion gave another feeling of pressure and a cramp (about 6 on a menstrual cramp scale). The whole process took about 20 min and L held my hand the whole time. Apparently when someone messes around with your cervix the body redistributes blood flow away from the head and towards the internal organs, so it took me a while until I had enough blood recirculating to stand back up.

Once I was up, about, and riding the endorphin rush, I decided coffee and chocolate (in the form of a brownie) were in order. Unfortunately, most of the cafes on campus are closed and the nearest one only had greasy looking cookies, scones, and croissants - nary a brownie in sight. After waiting 10 min or so for the bus I got fed up, like I usually do, and decided to walk from Engineering to Stevenson for a second go at coffee and a brownie. A concerned L set me off on my determined way and all was fine until I was about 10 min into my walk and my uterus started going "hey! hey! wtf did you poke in me?!" Seriously, it felt like being 13, crampy and in the nurse's office all over again. I kept going until I got to the coffee shop, still under the delusion that I was going to get my goodies and get some work done (note to readers: if you get an IUD, your experience may be different, but don't plan on doing much more than taking a warm bath and cuddling up to your favorite heating pad on the sofa). As I walked into the coffee shop I spied a beautiful tray of thick, fudgy looking brownies. I barely got my order out, grabbed my double cap and brownie and high tailed it up to my office. Once there I sat down to take a bite of what turned out to be an utterly bland, dry, stale, non-chocolaty tasting baked good. Disappointed, hungry, frustrated, and again feeling like I was 13, I burst right into tears and decided that maybe I was better off at home (yeah, it took me that long to come to the conclusion- I'm sort of a dolt some times). Since coming come I curled up with the perfect layering of couch, me, heating pad, purring cat, and actually finished another book for my diss (2nd this week). Now that it's several hours later I feel much better and am only getting the occasional cramp.

All in all it's been not as bad as I expected initially and much more draining after the procedure then I thought it would be. I'll probably weekly updates on what it's like with the IUD and off the pill. Again, if you have any questions at all, please feel free to leave a comment and I'll email you back.

Things that make you go "hmmmm"

My colleague Kungfu likes to say that every generation thinks they invented sex and its associated kinks, that every generation thinks its having a sexual revolution, but that most of it has already been done. With the exception of stuff that changes with new technologies (ex. no vibrators in the Middle Ages - dildos yes, vibrator, no), I think he's probably right. I just came across a ballad about a woman who was hanged for "wantoness", including amongst other things, having sex with her dog. Sadly, the dog was also hanged beside her. I wonder - b/c I am a sick pervert and fully embrace that identity - what did she use before the invention of peanut butter?

Purr

It's been an excellent week - hanging out with the fam closest to our own ages, otters, kayaking, beer, wine, Marianne's, more otters, and to top it all off, we added a new member of the family. Meet Oona:



Oona is a character from Irish folklore - the Wife of Finnbehera, king of the Connacht fairies. There's another dorky reference but I'll let those of you in the know stay in the know, and those of you who aren't can't ask me in person. She's about 8 lbs, petite, friendly, talkative, and to quote my brother in law, "that cat's got ups!" She was found as a stray and was most definitely a birder in her former existence. She leaps, flips, and grabs toys with her mouth in midair. The first few nights she would bring all her toys into our bedroom as presents during the night.

Sum- Sum- Summertime

It's officially the middle of summer and I'm officially playing hooky. My Brother in Law and his wife, The Quiltin'Fool are out visiting for the week. They're a lot of fun and it's been a pleasure to have them. We generally only see them once a year or every other year, and this is the first time we've seen them w/o parents around. I am relishing it. If I'm a fiber artist, Lily is a fabric artist. As I've mentioned before, she owns a quilt shop in MT and produces quilts that blend color the way a master painter does. She's also getting into the fiber world (crochet and now knitting), and I'm in fiber/cloth junkie heaven. We hit up the LYS, LFS, and have ben busting our hooks and needles for the last few days. Last night I finished the core body piece of a new sweater (it looks small but there's going to be a button band), Kunck's for L, and made progress on my Alpaca Scarf for L. And I have proof!


It's a herringbone scarf, hopefully to be finished before heading to London. Something to cuddle my sweetie's neck while I'm gone.

I have to weave in the ends, and one turned out bigger than the other, but not bad for my first fingerless gloves.

Malabrigo, mmmmm....
Have I even mentioned how much I love my Macbook camera? Because the point and shoot, uploading photos is just way too much work...


Today we're off to see otters.

Warning: uterus talk, IUD

Ok, you had your warning. I've debated posting about this for a while, but I figure that this is part of my life and I have a number of readers who are actually interested in this topic. This isn't going to be graphic, but it is going to have to do with uterus and birth control so if that makes you squeemish, stop reading now and instead go to my new favorite blog Dying For Chocolate. I will continue to post on this issue from time to time, during which I will include a warning (see above) in the title.

As every women, and most men, know: birth control is a pain in the ass. Barrier methods have plastically or chemically side effects. Fertility cycles get you away from hormones and chemicals, and are much more effective than the old school rhythm methods, but require extremely anal attention to cervical mucus, body temperature, and or a fertility computer to make sure that you are infertile. Finally, the old and easy method of the hormonal birth control pill (and ring, and patch) is not without side effects. Having been on the pill (or ring or patch, seriously, I've tried them all), I started to become increasingly concerned after the release of C. Penzer's 2006 study on hormonal birth control and loss of libido (published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine). I haven't had the other physical side effects (except for one pill my soph. year of college that gave me intense salt cravings - any college readers will remember my Round Table Pizza garlic bread obsession to fill the salt/butter/garlic cravings - got off that one before I outgrew all my clothes..), I'm really unhappy with the pill acting as a ever tightening vice on libido. Ever birth control method has the wonderful advantage of preventing you (or your partner) from getting pregnant, but there are always compromises. And for the most part, it's the woman who makes them (guys, I hear you on the condoms, or the diaphragm rash, I know it's not easy for you, but most women I know do go the "well he hates condoms, so it's the pill for me" route. Although I wonder how many relationships would decide not to go the pill route if it really does squash your libido...)

Now that I'm almost 30, have been on the pill for 12 going on 13 years, and am feeling the effects on my body and watching others struggle to regain fertility after going off the pill, I want off the hormones. I still don't want to get pregnant, but I have no idea what I'm like being non-hormonally regulated- which leaves me with fertility rhythms, barrier, or the IUD. Barriers have the problem of, well, the barrier. And I'm not crazy about the failure rate. As one Physician's Assistant informed me, "well, they have about a 12-25% failure rate, but you're married and almost 30 and getting pregnant wouldn't be the end of your world". Yeah, try telling that to my dissertation.... pregnancy is not an option. I'm not awake enough in the morning to track my fertility, so I've decided to get a IUD inserted. I think it's funny that as my friends are getting pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, I'm getting something installed that can prevent pregnancy for 10 years (hmm, do I tell my MIL and dad's wife (the baby happy one)...).

So, I'll be writing about this from time to time. This is mainly for my lady friends (and their understanding partners). Hell, I'd do much more exciting-sexually related-item reviews if I could, but I want to keep this blog somewhat professional. I'm going to have the Paraguard IUD installed the last week of July and make my transition off hormones. I'm totally open to the possibility that I will hate it and want back on the pill b/c it does do great things in terms of moodiness, acne prevention, light periods, etc. - but I want to try. I'm going to blog about it from time to time b/c I think the IUD has a really bad reputation in the states (one not shared by Europe, Africa, or much of the rest of the world). I'll talk about the experience, the pros and cons and what I feels like going from pill to no pill. If this works well for us, it's a good option to know about b/c paraguard is one of the few birth control methods you can use while breast feeding - which although not in my near future, considering I want 2 kids will be in my future at some point. My biggest concern is figuring out the string (no poking please), but that's about it. I'll let you know how it goes.

the more I read the more stupid I feel

From my recent German literary/linguistic analysis of street ballads:
"In the discursive ballad the hierarchical ordering of semantic elements according to isotopic concrete examples and generalizing statements and instruction in the thematic progression of type 3 combines the everyday world of experience with didactic elements in a more plausible way."

I need a dictionary... and to have training in literary analysis/criticism and basic linguistics (and art theory, and music history and theory, and.. and... and....)

99 (or less) reasons why 99 bottles pisses me off

When we first moved here, we loved 99. They had great selection, a comfortable and unpretncious atmosphere, and friendly staff. In the last 4 years the place has taken a serious nose dive. They've always been expensive ($4.50/pint; $10-15 for a hamburger), but recently prices have really sky rocketed. Beers are $5:25-5.75 a pint! The local stuff, from the local breweries, some right down the freakin' street, cost the same as an imported beer from the UK? Isn't the whole point of a brewery offering local beer to 1) support local business, and 2) b/c there aren't the same transportation costs you can offer it for less? They still have a great (overpriced) bottle selection (seriously, same stuff at TJ's, 1/2 price), but their draft beers are dominated by overpriced local brews that aren't very good. I know I'm cheap, I'm a grad student, what do you expect, but a pint of Racer5 at 99 bottles is more expensive than a pint of the same beer at the swanky local bar, the 515. To top it off, they were out of 3 of the beers requested, brought L the wrong beer, slow service, flat beer, the list goes on and on. I don't mind paying more for something really good and that I can't get anywhere else. You want to charge me $5.50 a beer? I expect it to be something really good and the atmosphere of the place to be decent - to look like it's been swept in the last 3 decades (If I want to go to a dive I'll go to a dive), and for the beer to be carbonated, on draft if stated to be on draft, and for the one I ordered to arrive. The staff are still nice, if slow and seemingly not beer drinkers themselves, but I'm way over this joint.

Soup

I love soup. Not all the time, but definitely when it's cold outside, and considering we live on the northern CA coast where "summer" means I'm still in jeans, long sleeves, a wool sweater, and jacket - it's still soup weather. You'd think that with the combination of my love of soup, cooking, and owning of a crock pot, I'd make my own - but you'd be wrong. I'm too lazy, never seem to have all of the ingredients, and when you make homemade soup you end up with way more than you can eat. Sometimes I make Matzo Ball soup, and I've made a killer tomato basil, but for the most part I buy canned - which is actually what this post is about. Should you be in the mood for split pea, and shoud you be looking at the grocery store cans, DO NOT be mislead by Anderson's Split Pea Soup. Yes, they are the split pea soup people in CA (you see adds for their famous restaurant all up and down the CA coast), but I think they need to look into another line of work. The texture is ok, but the spices are boring and it has the consistency of baby food. And did I mention that it held the "can shape" until I mushed it down in the bowl? The Annie's Organics instant soup is better. Better yet, I think I'll just make my own next time.

So, anyone have any good split pea soup recipes?

World History on the Brain

As scholars, we all have our main projects and we all have side projects. One of mine, for example, is Jewish History. Even though my diss is on print culture in early modern England and Scotland - which has nothing remotely to do with Jewish history - I'm always on the look out for references to Jews. Whether it's an insult thrown at another person ("he was acting the Jew"), an image of a hooked-nose money lender, or my favorite: Satan, with what I have a hunch are "Jewish features" (need to consult our early modern German Art Historian for that one):
I love that Satan looks like he's in the video for Thriller.

Anyway, I also, it seems, have world history on the brain. I've read a couple of accounts of the sailing world history network - the seaman with 7 wives in several transatlantic countries and colonies, a man who was knocked out and then miraculously save aboard a Turkish ship and then worked in "Turkish lands" as a surgeon's assistant before returning to England - ok, only 2 so far. But every time I read one of these the specter of our World History chair creeps up and whispers in my ear: "hey, there's a social biography just waiting to be written". And I begin to think, this might make and interesting story, I wonder if I could get an article out of this. And then I shake my head and plow back into my documents, marking these potential gems. Should any of these turn out to be real traceable people, I might have a social biography on my hands. Should they all turn out to be invented, I have an English imagining of the brig bright world, which is tinged with foreign knowledge, sex, and the exotic (dare I say, the Oriental?). All I have are crumbs right now, but maybe one of these crumbs will actually lead to something.

Considering WH as a class made me want to tear my hair out, I'm surprised at how attractive I actually find it as a field of research and study. I'm realizing now how much I like the comparative, transnational, transcontinental, follow-something-round-the-world approach to history In many ways, that's what always attracted me to European history and it shouldn't surprise me that I wanted to see it writ large. (I've never been one for purely national histories, preferring to try to look at two or three locations and work with them simultaneously. It also doesn't always pan out; see old dead projects: Theater/Cabaret in Paris and Berlin, 1919-1939; Broadsides in 3 nations context: England, Scotland, Ireland; and hopeful future project: Broadsides: England, Scotland, France (London, Edinburgh, Paris), possibly expanded to colonial Mexico (thanks, J!). I guess it's also no shocking that my pull to a diasporic cultural/ethnic group mirrors this kind of analysis (Jewish women in the Netherlands versus Islamic lands).

I'm plugging merrily along on my project (almost done with the years 1660-1662) and my "side project" files keep growing and growing. Don't worry, I haven't lost focus on my main project, but I'm increasingly surprised and happy that my diss research will be able to be taken in a variety of different places and into a variety of different projects.

Hee hee

My dept chair just came into the office I'm using this summer, introduced himself, and asked how I know MC (my former advisor). He didn't recognize me at all :) I reminded him of who I am and he said, "ok, well welcome, do you know where MC is?"

Bizarre.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Notice something different? It's not the hair, nor the collared shirt. But that I'm settling in for the summer somewhere other than the Bunker, and I can see the outside! My ex-adviser is being extremely generous and letting my use his office for the summer while he's out of town. I feel 1/2 official and 1/2 like I'm squatting (probably not helped by the frowns passed my way form the local Academic Services admin....). I'll still have to be in the Bunker for printing purposes, but I can do the bulk of my reading, data entry and writing from here. I'm still in shock that I've sat in one space for several hours and my fingers aren't numb and I can actually see what time of day it is.

If you're around this summer, stop in and see me sometime.

Random thoughts while writing evals in the Bunker

Things that suck:
-not being able to fall asleep until 4am - not b/c your neighbors are loud, or b/c your stressed - but for no apparent reason
-waking up, not having time for coffee, reaching for your favorite travel mug and realizing that you broke it during finals week
-Evals
-that crossing my legs while I type makes evil twinges in my right neck, shoulder and wrist. unfortunately, it's also my most comfortable and favorite sitting position.
-likely fraudulent elections followed by state sanctioned violence against dissenters that results in beatings and shooting of demonstrators. This pretty much applies to more situations that I can count, but currently refers to the mess in Iran.
-fox news

Things that don't suck:
-getting to use your ex-advisor's office for the summer (once I get the keys)!
-warm summer weather - hurrah for skirt season
-only having 10 more evals to write and then being done with TA duties for until January
-a husband who will gallantly by pass his coffee and lend you his travel mug for the day
-finishing a knitting project and getting start on new one
-having said project fit like a glove

Experiments

I'm on my final day in PHX with my mom, soon to be back in S to the C. It's been a wonderful to spend some one-on-one girl time with her and I'm very glad I made the decision to come and visit. She's still healing from a recent operation, but was able to keep up with me all day long. WE spent a lot of time talking, walking, cooking, and eating. She also treated me to a facial - something I never understood spending money on until I got one. I think I'm more of a massage girl on the whole, but I never knew my skin could feel so soft or so smooth.*

Before heading out to visit my mom, I stopped into our local beauty school to get my hair trimmed. While there, I was inspired to change things up a bit. It's an experiment, and I'm still adjusting to myself, but I think I like it. So here's preview, more to come:


This was inspired by the positive feedback I got while wearing a Bettie Page wig to a recent Rocky show. I think I need to invest in some cute bandanas, barrettes, and pin-up clothing.


*In an ideal world in which I could spend money on massages or facials...

Overindulged

It's been a hard 4th year here at ChezIrishRed. When we started grad school we went with the notion that we'd be going though it together, in roughly the same time frame and would be able to support and understand one another. The problem with this thinking is that we've hit patches where what would be much nicer than having someone be able to relate to your stress/work load, but wasn't equally (or more) stressed out with their own. Fall/winter was rough on me and L just turned in a conference paper he's been working his butt-off on. (side note: there are many times I'm jealous of L's EE program - the office, the window, the money w/o TAing... but watching him spend 5, 14-18 hour days trying to find the error in his code - is it a typo? a wrong slash? is the math bad in the first place? - reminds me of how lucky I am that in my work I will never wake up in the morning I find that the words have disappeared from my book, or that they decided to arrange themselves in a different order, or that one semicolon out of place would prevent my entire article/chapter/diss from, say, printing).

We've coped with the last few months with less grace than I'd like to admit and an ample supply of cookies and booze. You see, when I was anxious in Winter I lost weight (why, oh why can't that be my default mode), being stressed in the Spring has made me into the Cookie Monster. I love the buttery, brown sugary, chocolaty goodness and I've had a hard time stopping. Fortunately I learned an important lesson in attempting to double a recipe after drinking 1/2 a bottle of wine, and accidentially tripled the sugar in my latest batch. In addition to realizing drunken math is a bad idea, the overly sweet taste seems to have overloaded me. Proof: I still have 1/2 a batch of dough that I haven't 1) eaten straight from the freezer, 2) made into cookies. The other challenge is that we live in a country and age group in which the things you do to relax/hang out, are drink and eat. And I love drinking and eating, and I'm exercising at least 6 days out of 7! But as a recent NY Times article pointed out, even if you run 10 miles a day, it's ridiculously easy to eat the calories for 20 miles a day. Between the comfort of food (one of the problems with being a good cook), and the warm relaxation that comes with beer and wine - I've overindulged.

The stress levels seem to be receding (at least temporarily), I think/hope we've developed some new relationship techniques for dealing with one another when we're under the gun, and it's time to be more strict on the consumption. I'm calling myself out in this post b/c I've said this twice already this quarter and it hasn't worked.

Clawing my way back to the blogosphere

I said it would be a while, and it was. I've been busy - not my my dissertation unfortunately, but I think I'm writing that off as a loss for the rest of the quarter. I'd fill you in on what I've been doing, but it's all boring so I'm not going to bore you with the details.

Getting to the point - I made a new recipe! I love Thai food and have been searching for good, clearly explained Thai cooking. Tonight I tried Basil Eggplant and it was amazing and on the level of what I would expect at a good Thai restaurant. Very simple with clear directions. I'm looking forward to trying their noodle dishes next ( I have a noodle fetish - Pad Ke Mow.. yum).

I'm also in experimental kitchen mode. I've made a number of cookies recently, but all different versions of the same recipe in the quest to find a perfect recipe. Now I'm going to start experimenting. I was recently ruminating on the wonderfulness of malted milk balls - Whoppers, my favorite supermarket candy - and realized that I could try to make a Whopper cookie by adding malted milk t the holy trinity of brown sugar, butter and chocolate. There are recipes out there for chocolate chocolate malted cookies, and chocolate chip cookies with whoppers on top, but I want a malted cookie with melted chocolate. I'm going to make a few tests this weekend and I'll let you know how they turn out.

In non food-related news, my glasses prescription didn't change this year! This is on the order of finding out you lost 10 lbs. Unfortunately since I left my glasses at school and they were stolen (yeah, I feel like I'm 6 again...) I still have to by glasses (lowest estimate through Costco is $200 for crappy frames, $250 at EyeQ for nice frames), plus the additional $200 I have to spend every year on contacts. Not so happy to be spending $500 - which I would rather spend on a vacation with L - on my eyes, but I sort of don't have a choice. It's too bad I can't get one of my scrips written in his name to use his insurance. Damn expensive eyes, damn bad vision.

Super grumpy whiny post

I know I've been absent and I'm sorry - I just don't have much to write about. Or rather, I have a ton to write about but nothing I really want to bore my readers with. The short version of the story is that I'm frustrated and getting scared. I'm frustrated that I'm not making more progress on my diss. I'm frustrated that I care too much to blow off my students and put myself and my work first. I'm frustrated with how much time my TA is taking (again), and recognize that part of the problem is the class and part of the problem is myself failing to draw clearer boundaries.

I booked my flights to the UK (Sept 26-Dec 5) and submitted a housing application. I'm scared of this upcoming trip (being alone (at least they speak English), being unaffiliated with any specific University or professor - I'm working on joining a research cluster or two but it's been difficult to get much traction b/c I'm not affiliated with anyone in the UK). I'm scared of trying to do everything right and never finishing (starting?) my diss. And I'm really scared of trying to do everything right, finishing my diss, and not being able to stay in history b/c of the job market. I know I shouldn't worry as much about this last one as I do, b/c I have no control with the exception of "trying to do everything right", and it'll hardly be the end of the world if I can't stay in academia b/c of a PhD glut, hell I might even be happier and better off. I just wish I knew now what the likely outcome of this grad experience will be. It's been good and wonderful, and stressful and trying, and I guess in the end I want to be sure it's worth it.

As any of the other Hippie U/Ewok Village readers know, things on campus have been a roller coaster of budget cuts, program closures, pink slips, and threats to health care. My mom had abdominal surgery recently, and my own battle with aging is turing from a cold war into a warm one. More (so much more) grey hair combined with the lack of desire to keep up with the henna, new flourishing wrinkles, and freckles I need to get checked by my doctor. I know I'm getting older b/c I've turned the corner from "cheapest face cream at the drug store" to "of course I'll pay more for spf 30, anti-fatigue, aging combatant all organic grape seed oil..." So with all of those cheery thoughts running circles between my ears it's stunted my blogging. I will try to post more frequently and take more pictures, but if the silence continues through the end of the quarter it's b/c you probably don't want to hear from me.

To leave this blog on a happy note, a few good things that have happened recently:
1- we love our new house and are so happy to be off campus. I finally look forward to coming home to a comfortable space, and no more drafty windows!
2- I finished Yogini Bolero and love it, and I'm getting good wear out of my green sweater. Once I convince L to do some fashion photography I'll post pics.
3- I think I'm in love (or at least some serious geek lust):

Must See/ Must Read

First, you must see Star Trek - so much fun.

Then, you must read this blog post.

Moved! And a historical discovery.

We're moved, we like our new home, and we're working on getting rid of boxes. We also have no internet for the next several days (which will likely lead to faster unpacking).
Thoughts on moving:
1) Helpers are a godsend.
2) the WORST part of moving is having to clean out the "old" place. We thought we did a good job of cleaning our apt on a weekly basis and boy were we wrong. The number of nooks, crannies, and window tracts that mold can grow in was just disgusting. So glad I'm gone. So going to clorox the hell out of this new place on a regular basis.

And now, the discovery:
In reading broadsides on how best to deal with scolding women (apparently tying them up, beating the hell out of them, putting them in chains, and then telling your nosy neighbors that wifey just "went mad", is one option), I came across this: "And with the quart flaggon his noodle doth maul" (as in, when your husband goes and spends some cash on a friend at a bar he risks coming home to a wife who will "his noodle doth maul" with blunt household objects". Thinking about it, noodle may mean "penis", but I'm going with the assumption that it means "head" (based on the pictures of angry women clobbering their husbands on the heads with ladles and the like). And this is certainly the earliest reference I've seen to a head as one's "noodle". I'm not sure that's dissertation worthy, but it's definitely blogger worthy.

Stubborn

Even in it's deconstruction my sweater tried to defeat me. I couldn't find any end pieces to begin unraveling, it revealed the multitude of errors I made that meant that an easy unravel was not to be. But the time I actually started unwinding, I realized that this sweater had been knit, reknit, blocked, and yelled at so many times that the wool is felting and i'm not entirely sure the yarn is salvageable. I even announced to kungfu and Beetlegirl that I was done with it and that the mother-f'r needed to DIAF.

But, like an abusive relationship, I wasn't ready to give up and I went back for more.

I now have 90% of the sweater unraveled. It's in messy, curly hanks in my messy box-filled living room. I decided I couldn't give up on it yet, it deserves one try at washing/relaxing to see if the yarn is salvageable for anything other than felting. I'm not even sure I'm going to use it, but I couldn't let my own mistakes in this project defeat me.

Beginning and Ending

There she goes.... I wish I could say this is the frogging of my first sweater, but this is technically the second full garment I made that was a mess. (the first was Asana - the sweater in which I learned there is NO standard sizing in knitting and that I hate to knit with cotton). Rogue was so beautiful on my friend Corrie, and all the blogs and boards said it was an easy to knit great first sweater, and in may ways it was. I learned how to cable, graft, seam, and sew in a zipper. I also learned that 4" of ease is too much for me, I need bust darts, thick hems at your hip are evil (EVIL!), and kangaroo pockets that begin under your boobs make your boobs look wonky and you look pregnant. I also learned (am still learning), that despite when the measurements, and my gauge swatch, and everything tells me to make a medium - I should make a small and add bust darts. I finished this sweater last summer and it's been sitting under my bed since August. In the spirit of our upcoming move and new beginnings I decided to give this sweater a new beginning. I'm ripping it out and recreating from the raw materials. Rather than calling it a frogged project, I'm embracing it as a reincarnation.

Adventures in 515

I'm working in one of the cubes up in 515. I have a nice cozy spot and it's allowed me to get much more work done than I would were I in the Bunker and freezing my tuchus off, or chatting with my colleagues. I've set up my work and tea supplies, but I haven't really personalized the space.

Every now and then you'll get someone who is completely lost wander in. Today, a frantic and excited undergrad wandered into this space thinking it was the history office. He had some issues with a professor and wanted to know who he could take them to, that developed into a conversation about grad school (whether or not he should go and should he go here - I won't bore you with any more details), and ended with him saying, "so like, could we like go out sometime?"

sigh

I think I need to bring in a few pics of L and I...

Fellowship Fury

After my initial success with scoring the dept Alumni fellowship, I got my 5th rejection letter for the my last fellowship today. Although a year ago I would have been bummed, I'm just so happy to have any research money that I really don't care. Plus, it's beautiful outside.

Now comes the actual trip planning

Update and then a hiatus

The quarter is into full swing, my in-laws are staying for a week, and we move in two weeks.

Thesis - almost done with the Euing collection (a published collection of over 300 broadsides)! Research is coming along, but I'm seriously slacking and not getting enough done. In London news, I've been struggling to find an 'affordable' place to stay in London (its about as easy as finding 'affordable' short term housing in SC), and it's been causing me no end of worry. However, a colleague hooked me up with a short term leasing office that is further out of the city, but significantly less expensive (130 pounds a week versus 178-210 pounds a week) and for actual studios with bathrooms and kitchenettes rather than just rooms in a dorm-type setting. I'd be about 3 miles away from the British Library - which translates to a 30-40 min public transport commute (yeah, public transport is cheaper, convenient, but not exactly fast), or a 45-60 min walk. Considering who I am and that I won't have a gym/dance to go to... I have the feeling I'll be walking. So at this point I'm looking at London for 6 weeks from mid-Set to late Oct, then hopefully L will visit and we can head to York and Edinburgh, and end up in Oxford for 2 weeks to finish whatever I can't get digitally from here. It means I'll likely be in SC this summer and using my TA sabbatical to fund uninterrupted thesis work this summer. This should all mean I graduate w/in the 6 year time frame I set for myself (laughs nervously).

TA - despite the overall course being a total circus - I feel like the Benny Hill Theme "Yakkity Sax" should be playing at all times - my section is an absolute pleasure. Yup, you heard me. 8:30 am, full of wide eyed frosh, but they talk, and they contribute, and they're actually thoughtful and coherent. I could not ask for more.

Dance - I'm in modern and ballet this quarter and still rehabing my ankle. Modern is a hoot, and I'm slowly working my way back to the full class in ballet.

Softball - yup it's that time again, and yup, i already have a bruise from the ball hitting me rather than me catching it (can you guess where?)

Move - happening on May 2 so i don't anticipate much blogging until then. I'm experiencing major blog guilt at the frequency and thoughtfulness of a friend's recent blogging activity, maybe it'll translate into something once we're done relocating.

Cookies - I have one more exciting recipe to post, I'll make them tomorrow and post photos.

A recipe for destressing

The Spring quarter always starts out rough for me. I think it's because with grades due we only get a longish weekend for Spring Break, and you're barely recovered from evals by the time you've started your next set of classes. That being said, I'm TAing for the Holocaust this quarter, and it's going much better than expected. It's a circus to be sure - 10 TAs, 2 professors, 360 students, mainly freshman - but I knew it was going to be a circus, which makes it easier to deal with. The readings are good, the kids are engaged, and I only lead one section a week.

This week was absorbed in preparations for a 12-person 2nd night seder at our place. It was a lot of work, but an absolute blast. Wonderful people, excellent food, and good discussion and debate. And, I really think the pre-packaged kosher mfg. industry is missing out on a market for kosher-for-passover tortillas. I'm sure the first matzo was a soft flat bread, so let's get back to it!
For those who celebrate: Happy Passover, Happy Easter, and happy yay-its-spring-and-candy celebrants.

Finally, a recipe for destressing. Go to the website of the Well Within Spa in SC, call them, and book a spa (for 1, 2, or more!). They hook you up with an indoor or outdoor tub and shower (optional sauna) and warm tasty tea for an hour. There is nothing like a relaxing soak in a private hot tub while looking out at a beautiful garden. Best of all, for 2 students with student ID, it's only $28 ($31 normally for 2 people on a weekend) - less that you'd spend on dinner unless you made the finest dining choice of Taco Bell or Fosters Freeze.*

*which actually I can't rip on too hard - my college friends know of my late night del taco cravings, only partially satisfied in SC by Taco Bell. I swear they put crack in their Fire Sauce

Cookies and Classes

Classes start tomorrow and I"m actually excited. I'm looking forward to my TA, and I'm really looking forward to being able to get back to a regular cooking schedule. No evening classes this quarter! I'm also mixing things up in the dance dept and taking Modern II for the first time since college. I am very picky about my modern classes, but b/c there is not jazz in the spring, modern it is. Plus, I'm figuring out this diss research thing and have some clear goals I've set for myself (and will hopefully meet).

The other big news is that we're moving. Faced with raising rent (7.5% for the 4th year in a row w/ no justification or improvements on the place), we decided to take the opportunity to look at off campus housing. We found a 2 bdroom, 750 sq ft cottage (no attached walls) over on the seabright side of the SC River. The real deal clincher was the storage unit that is the size of a one car garage. We decided that we'd be happy moving into a smaller space that had storage and this one fit the bill. It's also about 2/3-3/4 of a mile walk from down town, 1/2 a mile from the Buttery/Shopper's Corner, and 1 mi from the beach. We'll have to commute, but maybe it'll actually make us get our butts out the door earlier and help to create a clearer work/home separation. All in all, we're very excited and L is doing his best to stop me from going moving-mad. (I'm crazy, but I love packing. I love being able to organize everything in to neat, labeled boxes, and then being able to clean the heck out of the apt. But I also love it so much that if left to my own devices I'd have everything but the basics packed by the end of the weekend - which doesn't make for a comfy home for the next 4 weeks.... This is one of those opposites-balance-one-another elements of our relationship.)

I also tried 2 new cookie recipes w/in the last week. The first one are Mocha Cookies courtesy of Some Crust bakery in Claremont, CA. I adored these cookies in college and have been holding onto the recipe for the last 7 years. These cookies are more like mini-lava cakes or deep chocolate brownies. They have 21.5 oz of chocolate and only 1/2 cup of flour. I made the recipe true to form, but would reduce the sugar by 1/3-1/2 c. in the next batch because I thought they were a little sweet. Recipe found here, and highly recommended.

Irishred, PI

Today I got to wander into the world of the private investigator.
Case: Husband's lost cell phone
When: sometime on Sunday morning
Where: Santa Cruz, Ca - exact location unknown

Evidence:
We notice the missing cell phone w/in a few hours, but figured it was just somewhere in the house/car. When we hadn't found it after a full day, we realized it might have made a break for it and run off on its own. After checking our online minute usage we determined that the phone had indeed run away and was talking to some one in Dallas.

Action:
Initial attempt to text and call the lost phone were unanswered. Drastic step of calling the numbers listed on bill taken. Success! Sort of... I spent the morning talking to an extended network of spanish-speaking sisters between CA and Dallas. Someone's husband had found and adopted our phone. After a choppy and painful conversation in spanish with woman in TX, she called me back and told me that she was able to pressure her sister to reveal that their younger sister's husband had in fact called them from a new SC number that matched ours.

After several more phone calls in pretty painful spanish (it's been so long since I've actually had to have a conversation with someone) I got ahold of the wife of the guy who picked up our phone and she said she was more than happy to give it back and that she was sorry for the confusion.

Result:
Phone is back in our custody. Hurrah!

A quarter of "argh"

Actually, so far it's been ok, but this week alone makes me want to tear my hair out.

I've got a clutch of pushy, aggressive students. They push and challenge in person, they push and challenge through aggressive email, and when asked why they don't come to section I get comments like, "well, we we did the debate that was really fun and engaging, but when we don't do anything but discuss the book and the text it's boring."

Oh, I'm so fucking sorry. Well, guess what: 1) it's history, this is what history is and this is how you do it: you READ AND DISCUSS TEXTS. 2) I am not here for your entertainment. I realize you've mistaken me for a stand up comedian, fix that assumption and open your damn book. 3) How the hell do you know what we do in section if you haven't come for the last 3 weeks!?

On top of that, I've already logged several hours for my next TA assignment through email and meetings, I'm having tax problems b/c my info wasn't reported correctly to the IRS and the IRS think I owe them somewhere in the category of ten grand (this is the second time this mistake has happened in 2 years which is the only reason I'm not bald - I've already been through it), and they're raising our rent for the fourth year in a row by nearly 8%. No improvements on the property, no justification, no explanation how the campus low-income family housing residents are supposed to pay for it other than loans.* We've formed a tenant's union and had a wonderful demonstration/town hall with the administration on Wed. night, but we're getting the hands are tied message (the same one I've received from this university on every committee I've been on when it comes down to raising fees), and we're looking at our move out options.


the next post will be about bunnies, flowers, and pussycats - I promise.

*Seriously, the answers were: there's financial aid! take out loans! the reason for the rent raises, to build up equity so they can take out a loan, tear these places down, and build new ones.

Wattleseed

A women at Tasting Histories gave her presentation on Australian Aboriginal foods and the international market. As a gift she gave us all sample packets of one of the products she examined: wattleseed. Wattleseed is described as having a coffee, hazelnut type flavor. This is more of a coffee and roasted hazelnuts, rather than a "hazelnut coffee", which is a flavor that should never have been crated. Apparently wattleseed is one of the new chic dessert spices and I decided to give it a whirl. I decided to make two kinds of wattle seed cupcakes with wattleseed frosting. The first recipe used this plain vanilla cupcake recipe from joyofbaking.com. I made the recipe true to form adn just dumped 1.5 tsp of wattleseed into the batter. The flavor was very light, but noticeable. The cupcakes turned out a bit drier than I like my vanilla cupcakes to be(more like scones than cupcakes), but I didn't have the 5 eggs necessary for Martha Stuart's recipe (which I would use in the future. For the second set of cupcakes, I used deep chocolate Better than Sex Cupcakes.

After making a 1/2 batch of each I topped them with this made up cream cheese frosting:
1 stick cream cheese (cold)
1 stick butter softened
1 box powdered sugar
2 tsp wattle seed soaked in 1/4 c. warm water for 10 minutes

Basically beat the cream cheese and butter, add powdered sugar and add the wattleseed brew (wattle seeds and all) instead of milk.


Both cupcakes were wonderful and I had to prevent my self from eating every last bit o the frosting out of the mixing bowl. I really like the idea of using the same frosting on different cupcake "bases" for a variety of flavors. If you're looking for a non-vanilla based alternative to chocolate desserts, I highly recommend wattleseed. You have to order it, and it's a little pricy, but much like desserts made with cardamon it's a wonderfully unique flavor for the American palette (and so much more exciting than vanilla!).

(no pics of my own, I forgot to take some while I was scarfing down cupcakes. Inspirations here and here).

Sunburn

We had a big storm come through NoCal last week and L and I went skiing up at Kirkwood. The mountain is really big with a lot of off trail real estate. The blues were reasonable and I could do many of the blacks. Due to conditions I even learned (not by my choice) to ski around bumps (and by around I mean through most of them and around some of them). I had my first couple of experiences in deep powder (frustrating), and felt myself improve over all.

The first day was sunny and warm, not a cloud in the sky. I remembered to put sunblock on my face before heading out, but at the end of the day realized I missed a spot: under my nose. The sun reflected off the snow and I now have a sunburn on the bottom of my nose.

Sunburn, a few bruises and all, it was a wonderful trip and I hope we can sneak back up to the snow for one more run before the end of the season.

Next time: experiments with wattleseed

History! In! Action!

I made my first serious start to my diss research this week. I've been reading secondary sources, conducting precursory surveys of material, but this week I really started hunkering down and getting to it. Step 1: how to organize all the info I need to. Solution: Bento. I used FIlemaker Pro for 2 years when I was working, so I was already familiar with the interface. Bento is like Filemaker, but easier and fully customizable. I created my own collections forms, etc, and I was ready to start. Step 2: Open a printed ballad collection. Step 3: cross-reference ballad with the EEBO (Early English Books Online) to find additional digitized and bibliographic entries. Step 4: enter all data, download and print available ballads (and drag and drop the image into bento), attach bibliographic info and order by date. Step 5: rinse, repeat steps 2-4 a brazillion times. Step 6: write dissertation, get job, win the lottery and learn how to fly.

The exciting part about all of this is that my research has become arts and crafts hour. In case you've ever wondered about the fabulous, glamorous life of a history grad student, I present a little peek into a historian in action:

Step 1: Gather materials


Step 2: Using tools of the trade


Step 3: Semi-finished product


I've completed 24 entries in the last 2 days (about 12-13 hours of work). My tentative schedule is to read secondary material on Monday morning and afternoon, dedicate Monday afternoon, Tuesday, Wednesday to primary research, and spend the rest of my non committed time to TA stuff. This will all change in April when I change schedules, but it feels good to actually get going on this project.

Now all I need is a soundtrack. Flogging Molly got me though my MA paper research, what will carry me through this one? (I tried punk station on Pandora, ok but not great)

Locavorism: a long post

Chances are you haven't heard the word (I hadn't until this weekend), but you know what it means: eat local, think local and you'll be greener, healthier, live longer, and get to go to that great garden patch in the sky. Many of the presentations over the past weekend were explicitly connect to, tracing, or critiquing certain food politics. Not surprising, locovorism, the new darling in the food world, was at the heart of many scholar's research. More surprising was the critique of locovorism posed by many of the historians, sociologists and biologists.

The current mantra, inspired by the Slow Food movement (another movement that is the current darling of foodies but scoffed at as problematic at this conference), is that if you eat locally grown produce it'll be fresher, hopefully be organic, taste better, reduce your carbon footprint, allay your modern environmentally-tinged guilt for even living much less breathing on the planet's surface, and you'll be a better person and custodian of the planet. The major critique of the movement, although most scholars recognized the aforementioned benefits, is that on the whole they seem to be little more than the current way of assuaging rich to upper class white Americans that they are not in fact responsible for the planet going to shit if they are willing to buy light orange tomatoes at $3 a pound, and in fact that locovorism habits act as a sort of environmental indulgence - buy local, get in to heaven faster. Suzanne Friedberg, the keynote spoke about her recent research on the topic of "fresh" - what is it? what does it actually mean? and is it a creation of the food industry trying to sell frozen and canned foods in the 1920s and 1930s? How old is something when it passes the line over freshness - and can freezing, which does stop the decay process - produce fake freshness? No doubt, green beans picked fresh and never frozen or canned taste better, but even those "local beans" are several days old by the time they get to your farmer's market. Hell, as she realized in her dissertation research/first book, French Beans and Food Scares, the prized peasant grown, "fresh" haricot vert were grown by African peasants in Zambia and flown into farmer's markets.

Regarding recent diet trends to eat fresh and multiple whole grains - to return to the hearty peasant diet or our ancestors before the invention of wonderbread. Yes, whole grain diets sometimes taste better, and do give you a more fiberful, more diverse diet, but the appeals to diets in history is little more than total bunk. The imagined past ahs always played a role in how we think about what we eat today - whether it's to demonstrate our progress and civilization ( we use the fork where our ancestors didn't), or our desire to justify diet choices by appealing to an imagined "authentic" past where everyone was strong, healthy, and robust. The fact is that we are better fed, perhaps over fed, in the first world. In Europe, there never was a real past where one family grew everything they needed in their mega-garden and ate only of their own sweat and toil. Most peasants ate monotonous foods and gruels based on what was available seasonally (no oranges in the winter, no apples after december, and put down those kiwi fruits). not to mention the paradox of modern diets which lean towards "health" (sometimes actual health, but more frequently a code word for thin (just listen to Oprah)), where in the past diets have had the general goal of avoiding thinness in favor of robustness if not plumpness (but not obesity or over-fatness) as a marker of health and being well-nourished.

Finally, several scholars pointed out the troubling classism of many of today's food politics. At the Davis farmer's market, locally grown tomatoes and apples cost $3 and $2.50-5 a pound. A head of red leaf lettuce cost $2.50, mixed salad greens (which, b/c it's Feb were looking sad) were $5/lb. At the Safeway grocery store, tomatoes were $1.20/lb, apples were $1.50/lb, lettuce was $1.40, and TJ's salad greens are about $2. Farmer's markets, locally grown produce, organic everything costs more. One of the presenters gave a talk on the politics of the Berkeley and West Oakland Farmer's Markets - both of which sell their produce at bulk prices to schools and other organizations so that they can sell it at reduced cost to the populations who need it most (who, shocking I'm sure, tend to be working and lower class black and Latino populations of the adjacent neighborhoods). But that they seem to be in the minority of farmer's markets.

This isn't to say that shopping at farmer's markets or for local produce isn't good - for local farmers, for reducing carbon footprint - but that is maybe isn't as "good" as some might think, and has a lot to do with what you can afford.* Several scholars noted moving into a world in which who has access to what food is becoming more differentiated. If you can afford it, you can buy everything local at premium prices for food that sometimes tastes better than what you can find at your local grocery store.* If you can't, too bad for you, eat your McDonald's, wallow in your unhealthy non-whole grain diet, and feel guilty that you are single handedly contributing to the environmental collapse of the planet.


*you can really see this in restaurant prices.
**tomatoes in CA, whether from the farmer's market, organically grown, or the plain old hot house variety, are generally sour, watery, and flavorless.

Post-Conference Flurry

The conference was a blast and my talk went well. i didn't get a lot of questions (as in I got 1) in the Q&A, but a lot of people came up to talk to me after the panel, at drinks, the next morning, etc. I met a bunch of very friendly, smart, and good-looking grads, ate excellent food, drank great wine I could/would never buy myself, and have returned invigorated and inspired. Davis is a beautiful campus (they managed to build with concrete and wood in a way that is warm, modernist, and artsy - rather than soviet-chic) and a really fun little town. Food historians are a very friendly bunch who have been working to get their research validated as real work rather than academic-light. I think it's a mark of my SC experience that I never even stopped to consider food research as academic-light.

I was completely inspired by the diss chapters people presented (chapters, a year from how, really) - and feel simultaneously very behind where they are, and motivated to get cracking. Today I set up my diss research database in Bento (based on Filemaker Pro, but much easier to use, has a nice interface, etc), and am going through one of my published collections of ballads. I also started a book this morning and am hoping to be done with it and my primary work from this collection by the end of this week. This project is bigger than I imagined, and may take more time than I imagined, so it's time I got working. Not that I'm all that eager to rush into the outstanding job market that awaits, but enough procrastinating.

Oh yeah, the hot dog photo went over well and I'm going to try cooking with wattleseed before the week is over.

In over my head?

Holy crap this is a big conference. Ok, not AHA big or anything like that, but well over 100 all older and more official looking people than myself. I spent most of the appetizer and wine tasting looking for people who looked my general age range and hope they'd be grad students. After one of the directors left me with his one-too-many-wine-tastings wife, I managed to escape (under the guise of getting another glass myself) and find some friendly Cal students. The venue is beautiful, the wine and food were amazing, ad I'm now beginning to wonder why I didn't consider Davis for Grad school. Yeah, the town is small, but nicely laid out, cheap, and the campus is manicured, but beautifully designed. The first Keynote was incredible (spoke about freshness and taste), as were the other plenary speakers. I'm feeling a bit like "one of these things is not like the other" in that I'm talking about teaching, not research. Also, these people are like actual food historians... not necessarily world historians... So this venue lacks some of the intimacy of my last conference a year ago. At the same time, people have seemed interested in my talk and at least 2 people said the downloaded my syllabus to use for resources So, I'm back in the hotel room adding a slide of the $1.50 Costco combo meal (I decided to nail home the humor with an image), and waiting to hear from a friendly Cal grad who took pity on dinner-partnerless-me.

That's all for now, I'll update after my talk tomorrow.

K

SHOES!!

For the ladies and men out there who share my love of shoes, aerosoles.com is having an amazing sale.
That is all, live long and wear beautiful shoes.

Knittin' in the Kitchen

I'm sitting on my kitchen stool working on my latest knitting project (Yogini Bolero in navy) while a group of locals who I know and love are trudging through sewage and slaying crocodiles in my living room. I normally knit once a week at Beetlegirl's apt while kungfuramone joinsLl and some other friends to slay dragons and fight out of dungeons in the comforts of our living room. Meanwhile, at B', she sews/cuts/felts, I knit, and we work our way through episodes of the X-files. We've had a jolly good time reliving the good (biohazards and diseases from outer space), the bad (they can't do the occult, and Gillian Anderson does not look good in high neck blouses and tapered-leg pants), and the ugly (leech boy), and had both forgotten what it was like to follow a TV series that averaged 22-24 episodes in a season.

Because I'm leaving for a conference at UC Davis on Friday I had to cancel my crafting evening for the week. Although this evening is severely lacking in estrogen bonding time, the commentary coming from the couches does a pretty fair job of providing entertainment.

Work on my diss is very slow going - I'm constantly distracted by my TA assignment, my conference paper/presentation, and the more enjoyable aspects of life in general. Same old, same old: too much to read, takes too long, too many copious notes. I'm looking forward to this conference but I really hope that I can re-focus and plow through some of my secondary sources when I return.

Grades

I should be working on the presentation I have to give in less than 3 hours, but while eating my cereal and glancing through the NYtimes I saw this:


Battling grade inflation and student expectations is an ongoing battle for those of us in the actual trenches. In my 4 years as a TA, I've had students tear up when they look at their mediocre paper and see I had the audacity to mark them with a B or a B-, instead of the A they expected. A recent NYTimes article addressed the connection, in the minds of most students, between when they perceive as hard work and the grade they feel they deserve. One of the students interviewed said that if he attended every lecture, read every book and did exactly what the professor assigned and even more, he expected to get an A. Well, he's right. The problem is that studetns read 40-60% of the work, attend 75% of the lectures, 70-80% of the sections, write average to good papers, and then expect to get As.

The short version is that there is a firm belief in the A for effort, and a lack of understanding of 1) what hard work is (yes, those 4 hours you spent trying to write a 6 page paper may have been stressful and difficult, but that does not equal hours of actual hard work, research, and editing), 2) you can work very very hard at something and still not receive an A or even an A-. I can work very hard to run a marathon, but if I only get to mile 16, I didn't actually run a marathon.

Anyway, back to presentation, but I couldn't pass this one up.

wtf?

I'm using a blogger only template and some of my images exceeded bandwidth? Blogger uses non-pro Photobucket? I'm confused.

Finally, some FOs!

Here are long awaited finished objects! A friend noted that I tend to blog much more about my knitting failures than my successes. It's absolutely true I hope to remedy it. I can't seem to drop the permanent "come-hither" look crossed with the I've-done-too-much-stage-work pose. So ignore the posture and the expression and focus on the sweet, sweet stitches.

Tempting I with neck cabling:



I used a cabling modification from a Ravelry member and love it. The yarn is all sorts of yummy: alpaca, merino, and cashmere. This is the first successful sweater I made that I 1) didn't have to re-do at all, and 2) fit the minute I tried it on. The patters is from knitty.com and I highly recommend it as a first sweater project.

Cherie Amour:



Another Knitty.com pattern. This is the sweater that was accidentally knit from 2 different color yarns. I'm happy with the final result although I'd lengthen the waist section if knitting this again. It tends to do what bulky yarns do: add bulk, but I love it anyway,

Paris Loop II:


This is my second Paris Loop. I love the pattern (incredibly easy, but impressive b/c of the yarn), and made this one with a more open neck so that it fits off the shoulders.

Up and coming:
Pink in green!

Busy Weeks

This quarter I have to attend lecture from 7-9 on Monday and Wednesday evenings. I generally try to quite working when I start cooking dinner (around 7), and this has completely upset my normal schedule. L and I don't get as much time together and I don't get to cook as much as I normally do. I'm now heavily into the one large meal we spread out over the week, with sandwiches and bean and cheese burritos in between.

This week I cracked and have been on a cooking frenzy. On Thursday evening I got together with Beetlegirl to make Martha Stewart chocolate cupcakes with orange zest buttercream for a friend's 30th Birthday. Last night I made one of the most labor-intensive meals I've made so far: Lamb and Eggplant Shepard's pie from Bon Appetit Magazine. It is as good as it looks (even the mashed potatoes on top! I don't like potatoes, but these have 5 cloves of garlic and I used 1 c. of asagio cheese) and should feed us for many days. The cooking lamb was mouth watering. I cut out one of the 45 min simmer steps, you can find full details at my cooking blog. I still had leftover buttermilk so I whipped that up into 2 loaves of Irish Soda Bread with cracked pepper,

and then used the absolute reminder to try my hand at buttermilk pancakes. I started making my own pancake batter when I ran out of the pre-made stuff, googled a recipe and discovered it was as easy as the packaged variety and tasted better.

Like I said, my pent up baking instincts exploded. L is a very lucky man.

In other news, I landed wrong out of a jump in jazz class and sprained my ankle. I've been RICEing all weekend and the swelling has finally gone down. This is the 2nd time I've hurt it this year. L pointed out that now that I'm dancing 5 days in a row, I'm not really giving myself time to recover in between classes and maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't be doing all the jumping every day. *sigh* As much as I hate to admit it, he's probably right. So I'm back to rehabing it, no jumps until it's better, and then I'm going to pick 3 days a week to jump and do abs through the jumping parts on the other days.

It's getting bad folks...

Two Buck Chuck may no longer be $2/bottle in CA. Faced with a tax hike on businesses to balance the budget, it could go up to as much as $2.50. Article here, it looks like we may see wine prices generally raise in CA. :(

In other totally unrelated news, I lost my voice. Or more correctly, the damn cold virus stole my voice.

Dumbfounded

Holy crap, I'm going to the UK this summer. About 5 min ago I found out I was awarded the (a?) History Dept Alumni Fellowship for $10K. This, combined with my TA sabbatical guarantees that I can do a research trip to both England and Scotland in the summer and fall of 2009. Holy shit this PhD thing is actually going to happen. I'm still waiting to hear about the 2 Mellons I applies for, and if course I will decline this fellowship if I get one of the larger full-year ones, but this means I can actually do my research!!!


Can't celebrate [too much] yet, must write conference paper...

Back from SoCal

S had a SWA credit she had to use by the end of the year and further demonstrated her sweet nature by using it to buy tickets for L, I and herself to fly to SD for MLK (ha! a veritable alphabet soup). We spent a very nice 3 days at my Dad and stepmom's place on Coronado. We went to the beach, hiked in Torrey Pines, went dancing, cooked, and drank a lot of really good wine. The weather was absolutely beautiful (high 70s), and it felt like a little piece of summer. I'm still not 100% back to work, but I hoping the break has left me refreshed and refocused. I have a conference paper to write/finish and one more grant app, and then I can turn to my dissertation work. I'm almost there - just a little bit more to go.

And in other news, we have a new president. I like the guy, I really do, but I'm concerned about the pedestal he has been hoisted up on and the cult of personality that is developing. They were selling I Heart Obama t-shirts in the San Diego airport. 1) San Diego is a conservative military city, 2) it's the freakin' airport, and 3) I've never seen anything like this with any other elected American official. It reminds me of the Britney Spears obsession of the late 90s and early 2000s. I just hope Obama can do what he needs to do and handle the pressure. I really don't want to see him in a LA tattoo parlor getting lips tattooed on his wrist, shaving his head, and then going after the paparazzi in his best Batman's the Penguin impersonation. He's not perfect, he's just a man (a smart one, but still just a man). I think he's the best man for the job, but I also hope people realize the incredibly difficult job he's undertaking, that he's not going to solve any (much less all) of the world's problems in the first month in office, he's going to make mistakes, and he needs time. I'm always concerned of head over heels googly-eyed love, this this is the worst case I've seen of it since Middle School.

And in knitting news: I know I need to update my WIP tool bars, I also need to post some new pics. I finished my cherie amour sweater (and wore it to ReallyTIny's place on Thursday night), and have started a new sweater called Pink, in green. This is my first attempt at a top down raglan with bust shaping. I'm at the "bust point" and so far so good. Enough room for the bazoomgas, but not so much room I'm swimming. now I have to figure out how to star the decreases in such a way that I don't have bust darts literally making a direct bee line to my bust points. All for post-paper completion.

5th Grant App off

I sent in my 5th grant application today. 5 down, one to go. All I have to finish for the PBK is wait for my transcripts to come in and pick my writing sample. Although I'm glad to be nearing the end of this phase of grant-aps, I'm not as cheerful about it as I wish I was.

Now begins the 2-3 month waiting period before I find out if I actually won any of these grants. The writing was a real pain, but the waiting is going to drive me nuts. You see, before I was anxious, now I'm getting scared. I've hit the 1/2 way through the marathon point and am tired and scared of the remaining miles. And scared is bad because it gets you stuck. Anxiety you can channel into work, scared just makes me want to come home, eat cookie dough, drink beer and watch Harry Potter.

What am I scared of? Not getting funded, not being able to get to the UK for research this year, having to go through all of this again next fall, not getting funded again, having to rethink this whole PhD thing all together. I'm scared I'm not doing enough (not reading enough, not reading the AHR and Perspectives, and not on H-net, and not going to talks, not presenting enough of my own research, definitely not published enough, and not doing enough other things because I'm trying to get my grants out my TA work finished and a million other little things done) And then even if I do finish, that I'm not going to be able to get a job. I'm scared I'm not going to be able to have a career in a field I really like doing something I'm really good at.

I realize this is a downer of a post, but I figured it was time to be honest with myself - I'm terrified at what's coming or not coming next.

There is one good thing in all of this, my dance technique is getting better and I'm noticing that other students in the class are looking to me as an example of good technique. I can nail doubles and often triple pirouettes on my right (the left is another messy story), and my flexibility is improving. If I could recommend Lisa Norris for cannonization, the Saint of Healing Wounded Dancers, I would. Her ability to work with students (and me!) is my biggest inspiration. Thank god for dance.

Gragh!

You know what pisses me off? People who try to make forms in Microsoft Word. They think it's as easy as drawing some lines and putting titles, and then doing stupid shit like using the space bar for spacing instead of tabbing. Or don't pay attention to how someone entering in their asked for information will fuck up all of their lines and spacing and everything! All of this can be easily fixed by using tables, templates, and/or the freakin' "form wizard" function. I've just spent the last 2 hours fighting with some one's crappy formatting!

Argh!

2.75 hours until I get to go home...

Bunker Dweller

Dance finishing at 2 + lecture starting at 7 = too much time in the Bunker. For those who haven't seen it, behind me are 2 of the 3 concrete walls that make up our grad lab. It's cold, strange, and lonely. I didn't want to lose time commuting between home and lecture (about a 40 min+ time loss when you factor in bus and/or walking), but now I'm thinking it'll be worth it. I'm trying to finish up my last 2 grants today. I'm close, but it's not going to happen. After this I have to write a conference paper due Jan 25 (originally due Jan 15, but now postponed 10 days, thank god). Anyway, enough dicking around, back to work.

Goofiness in the snow

As promised, here are some photos from one of the weekends over winter break when we sent skiing. A big group of us spent 4 days on the Northside of Lake Tahoe. The conditions were pretty good and I got to try out my new-to-me-skis. I never in a million years thought I would love skiing or own my own skis, but I do. And I'm getting a lot better. This year I was able to ski very comfortably down every blue slope I tried (even the one that was covered with ice and had moguls on it) and went confidently down a number of blacks.

But what you really came for is the photos:

Shit eating grins everyone!


I want the Italian gene that gives me unbridled coolness


View from Mt. Rose. Beautiful, stunning, and looking over the top of a slope where you can't actually see the slope but just see the valley thousands of feet below totally freaks my shit out. I didn't freak out or cry this time - I will defeat (or repress) my fear of heights)!


View from the top of Diamond Peak.

Belated Happy New Year

The Irishred has been busy trekking up and down the giant country she lives in. After Phoenix to see mom, Jersey to see in-laws, and Tahoe for 4 amazing days of skiing with friends, she's finally home. It's been a whirlwind, but a good one. Due to my absence, a quick re-cap is necessary:
There was bread making, wine drinking and Silly mounting climbing in AZ:




Gifts a plenty of the fiber variety in NJ:

>
Finishing up a sweater in multiple states (all parts are now complete and only await being stitched together):



And the most decadent 30th birthday flourless chocolate mousse cake for my love:




(seriously, this has 2.5 bags of chocolate chips, 3 c cream, and 1.5 sticks of butter. I'll post the recipe and process on cucinaacademia later this week).