Monday, December 31, 2012
Year in Review
This'll be short because the amount of time I have with 2 hands free is precious.
It's been a hell of a year, here's a quick review. In no particular order, this year I:
-Finished my dissertation and got my PhD.
-Presented at the Pacific Coast Conference on British Studies.
-Ran an 8 mi trail race, a 5 mi trail race, 2-5Ks, and a 10K... all while pregnant in my first trimester.
-I got pregnant. I actually got pregnant twice and had a miscarriage the morning of one those 5Ks (remember this? I had an early miscarriage right before the race).
-I had a baby, and now I have a baby, and now my little 5 lb 10 oz baby is bigger than the cat (finally!).
-Became a family.
-Went to Amsterdam and visited friends A and L in Berlin.
-Skied Mt. Lemmon in Tucson.
-Didn't get a job.
It's been a hell of a year and I'm looking forward to what 2013 will bring - including running those races not pregnant!
It's been a hell of a year, here's a quick review. In no particular order, this year I:
-Finished my dissertation and got my PhD.
-Presented at the Pacific Coast Conference on British Studies.
-Ran an 8 mi trail race, a 5 mi trail race, 2-5Ks, and a 10K... all while pregnant in my first trimester.
-I got pregnant. I actually got pregnant twice and had a miscarriage the morning of one those 5Ks (remember this? I had an early miscarriage right before the race).
-I had a baby, and now I have a baby, and now my little 5 lb 10 oz baby is bigger than the cat (finally!).
-Became a family.
-Went to Amsterdam and visited friends A and L in Berlin.
-Skied Mt. Lemmon in Tucson.
-Didn't get a job.
It's been a hell of a year and I'm looking forward to what 2013 will bring - including running those races not pregnant!
Friday, December 28, 2012
Happy Holidays!
34 years ago, Luke came home from the hospital in a stocking. This year we managed to stuff his son as deep into a stocking as his new budda belly would allow. I wanted to post a Chanukah picture, but he spit up all over the lovingly hand stitched dreidel onsie I made. Oh well,
To those who have celebrated:
Happy Chanukah
Good Kwanza
To a bright Diwali
Happy Festivus
Merry Xmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Lukemas
and a Happy New Year/Prospero Año!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
A guide for parents to be and people buying stuff for parents to be
As a continuation of the last post, here are a few things we've found invaluable (take note parents-to-be, or anyone looking for gifts for parents to be):
1) A swing. We have, and love, the mamaroo:
I'm sure there are others that work well for other people, the type doesn't really matter. Here's the thing, swings are expensive. They are also the only thing letting me sleep at night. Bucket will sleep deeply for 1.5-2 hours at night in this as long as it's moving and we're blaring white noise. Much better than trying to put him down in a crib. New parents: you need a swing. This is as non-negotiable as a car seat. People buying shit for new parents: swings are expensive, buddy up with other people and help new parents buy one. The sleep they will get from a swing is MUCH more valuable than another cute pair of PJs.
2) Miracle Blankets, aka baby straight jacket. Bucket, like most babies, loves being swaddled. Unswaddled, he flails his arms, scratches his face, and generally freaks out. Swaddled, he's warm cozy, chills the fuck out and goes to sleep. Swaddler + swing + nursing pads = baby heaven. So I suck at using regular blankets for swaddling. L is amazing and has baby origami down. Me? Faced with a squirmy fussy baby at 4:30 am and a blanket = Kelly crying for about 15 min while pleading and bargaining with the blanket to just swaddle itself.
On a whim, I bought a miracle blanket, sure that it was overkill. I was wrong. My biggest mistake was only buying one. While visiting, my sister found me at 3am crying because Bucket had peed of the changing table, onto the blanket on the bed 3 feet away and I was left staring at full on Fuss Bucket and a aden and anis swaddle blanket that he could break out of in 15 seconds flat. She ordered me 2 more from amazon then and there. (have I mentioned that I have the best sister in the world?). We've had night where he manages to pee on 2 of them, so having the 3rd in reserve is a sanity saver.
At first I thought that $30 for a blanket was a total rip off. It's a bargain. Even the best baby Houdini can't get out of this one. No velcro to wear out. It's warm, so no need to worry about baby getting cold. Best, it's fast, easy, and works. Plus, it fit him at his birth weight (under 6 lbs) which makes it superior to the less expensive (though also useful now that he's bigger) swaddleme or Halo sleep sack.
3) For the ladies out there (and people buying stuff for the ladies in their lives): If you are nursing, you will need nursing bras. If you happen to get stuck with jubblies bigger than a DD cup, you won't be able to pick up anything at Target. If you Happen to have really troublesome cup sizes - large cups, small band/large cups - you're up a creek w/o a paddle when looking for stuff at most brick and mortar stores. Well, I"m in your creek and I'm throwing you a paddle:
Cake Lingerie
Hot Milk
They have a really, really extensive range of sizes, offer far superior construction to any US-based (china produced) nursing bra I've seen, and they're pretty. At 34 E-F, sometimes G, I can't really do the wireless bras. I mean, I can, but it's just a sling for a boosom that looks like it stepped out of a Rubens painting. At both stores I have found beautiful, comfortable, supportive, nursing-friendly underwire bras. If you need nursing bras, they are worth every penny (buy one good $60 bra instead of being unhappy with 2 crappy $25 ones from Target). If you are buying for a nursing mom, she will love you forever if you get her anything from these two sites.
4) Nursing care package: Going to a baby shower and don't know what to get the mom to be? Get something for her: Lanolin (I prefer Medela, but people love Lansinoh), heating pads (these allow me to nurse when my Raynauds flares up, also great for engorgement and tenderness),
and Bamboobies bamboo nursing pads:
1) A swing. We have, and love, the mamaroo:
Softer than the disposable ones, they are the only thing I can wear when dealing with tenderness and Raynauds issues. Plus they look like pasties, which is pretty awesome. I love these things.
Friday, December 14, 2012
A few unexpected parts of new parenthood
Bucket is 4 weeks old tomorrow. At this point in game I've discovered a few things about new parenthood that despite copious research and endless conversations with new parents, I never fully realized. Oh sure, we knew we'd be sleep deprived, that new babies smell wonderful, that newborn poop is explosive, etc, etc, but here's a few that have thrown us for a loop.
1) I love coffee more now than I have at any time in my life. You know when they say, you fall in love with your partner all over again, and more deeply than ever, when you see them with your child? Ok, yeah, that happened... but that happens every single morning with me and the coffee pot. After feeding every 1.5-2 hours from 1am to 8am and finally getting 2 hours of interrupted sleep b/c my most wonderful husband in the world is holding Bucket, there is no joy on earth like that first cup of coffee. I thought grad school made me love coffee, and you may think "but I"m a coffee connoisseur, I have 5 ways of roasting and hand pressing my own specially harvested-shade-grown-volcanic-soli-cultivated coffee, I REALLY love coffee." And, sorry, you're wrong. Or, you will discover and even deeper love for pre-ground, made in the drip machine that has a timer on it coffee, than you have every had before.
2) Breastfeeding kinda sucks. ha ha. no seriously. It's great for Bucket. It's great for my figure (so was all the exercise and good eating while pregnant, to be honest), and it's super cute cuddling bonding time. Plus formula is pretty stinky and runs into money... but breastfeeding is hard fucking work - esp if you are also pumping to build a stash so your partner can give bottles and you can give your breasts a break. It's.. uncomfortable. It's time consuming. You leak everywhere (bet bamboozle bamboo pads, expensive but worth every single penny). It's energy sapping. And when they say newborns feed every 1.5-2 hours, that from the START of the feed... which in our case is 25-30 per breast. Plus a 10 min break for burps in between, a change in between, and the changing after... generally putting "feeding time to about 45 min if I'm lucky up to 80-90 min - which leaves 45-30 for "sleeping when the baby sleeps". Yeah, so just be ready for that.
3) Shift work sucks. The hardest thing for L and I is that Bucket will not fall asleep unless held. He's beginning to fall asleep in the swing and we are hoping this is the beginning of a new dawn, b/c if someone's holding the baby that someone is always awake. We knew that sex would be off the table - between the lack of sleep, the minimum time between feedings, the leaking, and my episotomy (ouch) - we were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for is missing the intimate time we get from just sleeping in the same bed. Doesn't work. We've tried co-sleeping in a bassinet but he wont' sleep for more than 15 min ad then goes into 5 min fuss/talk/1 min sleep patterns. Sleeping next to me is better, meaning 3 min fuss/talk and 2 min sleep... but not really doable (plus, see feeding schedule above - I can't nurse comfortably in bed b/c he spends the entire hour talking to my breast, and the sheer size of them requires some infrastructure I can't get in bed).
We did get one glorious 4 hour morning when my sister was here and gave us a respite - but we miss each other. Now that he's beginning to sleep in the mamaroo with white noise, we're going to try that for bedtime going with the idea that whatever gets him and me sleep is worth it, we'll deal with adjusting him to a bed later. Plus, at this point I desperately miss my husband and sleeping partner of 12 years. This is definitely the longest time we've slept apart since my time in London or our year long distance. Hopefully we'll all be able to sleep in the bedroom, but if not, I'll be in the nursery with Bucket in the swing and L will sleep in our bedroom so that he can be awake enough to spell me in the mornings.
3a) every new family needs 3 miracle blankets. Swaddling is the bomb.
4) Bucket is adorable. I love him dearly, even when I'm frustrated, and despite the complaints, I'm genuinely soaking up the baby snuggles, poop cannons (he likes pooping en plein aire), and cuddling time. Plus I think the baby-related happy hormones are dulling the pain of the job market news :)
1) I love coffee more now than I have at any time in my life. You know when they say, you fall in love with your partner all over again, and more deeply than ever, when you see them with your child? Ok, yeah, that happened... but that happens every single morning with me and the coffee pot. After feeding every 1.5-2 hours from 1am to 8am and finally getting 2 hours of interrupted sleep b/c my most wonderful husband in the world is holding Bucket, there is no joy on earth like that first cup of coffee. I thought grad school made me love coffee, and you may think "but I"m a coffee connoisseur, I have 5 ways of roasting and hand pressing my own specially harvested-shade-grown-volcanic-soli-cultivated coffee, I REALLY love coffee." And, sorry, you're wrong. Or, you will discover and even deeper love for pre-ground, made in the drip machine that has a timer on it coffee, than you have every had before.
2) Breastfeeding kinda sucks. ha ha. no seriously. It's great for Bucket. It's great for my figure (so was all the exercise and good eating while pregnant, to be honest), and it's super cute cuddling bonding time. Plus formula is pretty stinky and runs into money... but breastfeeding is hard fucking work - esp if you are also pumping to build a stash so your partner can give bottles and you can give your breasts a break. It's.. uncomfortable. It's time consuming. You leak everywhere (bet bamboozle bamboo pads, expensive but worth every single penny). It's energy sapping. And when they say newborns feed every 1.5-2 hours, that from the START of the feed... which in our case is 25-30 per breast. Plus a 10 min break for burps in between, a change in between, and the changing after... generally putting "feeding time to about 45 min if I'm lucky up to 80-90 min - which leaves 45-30 for "sleeping when the baby sleeps". Yeah, so just be ready for that.
3) Shift work sucks. The hardest thing for L and I is that Bucket will not fall asleep unless held. He's beginning to fall asleep in the swing and we are hoping this is the beginning of a new dawn, b/c if someone's holding the baby that someone is always awake. We knew that sex would be off the table - between the lack of sleep, the minimum time between feedings, the leaking, and my episotomy (ouch) - we were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for is missing the intimate time we get from just sleeping in the same bed. Doesn't work. We've tried co-sleeping in a bassinet but he wont' sleep for more than 15 min ad then goes into 5 min fuss/talk/1 min sleep patterns. Sleeping next to me is better, meaning 3 min fuss/talk and 2 min sleep... but not really doable (plus, see feeding schedule above - I can't nurse comfortably in bed b/c he spends the entire hour talking to my breast, and the sheer size of them requires some infrastructure I can't get in bed).
We did get one glorious 4 hour morning when my sister was here and gave us a respite - but we miss each other. Now that he's beginning to sleep in the mamaroo with white noise, we're going to try that for bedtime going with the idea that whatever gets him and me sleep is worth it, we'll deal with adjusting him to a bed later. Plus, at this point I desperately miss my husband and sleeping partner of 12 years. This is definitely the longest time we've slept apart since my time in London or our year long distance. Hopefully we'll all be able to sleep in the bedroom, but if not, I'll be in the nursery with Bucket in the swing and L will sleep in our bedroom so that he can be awake enough to spell me in the mornings.
3a) every new family needs 3 miracle blankets. Swaddling is the bomb.
4) Bucket is adorable. I love him dearly, even when I'm frustrated, and despite the complaints, I'm genuinely soaking up the baby snuggles, poop cannons (he likes pooping en plein aire), and cuddling time. Plus I think the baby-related happy hormones are dulling the pain of the job market news :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
2012-13 Job Market
For those paying attention:
Second verse same as the first.
Yup, it's that time again, when the lucky academic debutantes start hearing back regarding interviews for the jobs we all applied for in the fall. And, just like last year, it's looking like no one is asking me to dance this year either.
I applied to 4 positions, one big public research U, a large private U, a small liberal arts college, and a smaller state college. The research and private U's have sent out requests for additional materials for those on their short list, the small state college in L's home state has contacted applicants they want to interview. The SLAC is a top rated, highly competitive institution that doesn't appear to have contacted anyone yet. I suppose there's a minor chance they might ring me up, but I'm not holding my breath.
So what does this mean? 1) I'm glad I didn't spend the last weeks of my pregnancy putting together more teaching portfolios that no one is ever going to look at (seriously, it's like making your own prom dress and then never taking it off the hanger). 2) I'm also glad that we didn't book travel to the convention where the interviews I didn't receive will take place.
In the larger picture, I'm not sure and don't want to make any hard and fast decisions right now, but an academic career is not looking good for me. Whether it's my application or my field, something isn't clicking. I did a lot of work on my application this year, and got feedback from my multiple people at my home U, a colleague at smallish state college, and some faculty at SLACs. My diss was submitted, I had lots of grants and grant money, and a publication on my CV. The only thing I'm missing is a bigger name publication and more FT teaching experience (despite the enormous amount of teaching we do in our TAships at UC Ewok Village, they dont' seem to count for much on the market).
I guess my plan over the next few months is to 1) get my article finished, polished, submitted and hopefully published. 2) start looking for FT work in the late summer/ early fall. 3) Consider going back on the market in fall 2013, but unless I have academic-related employment at that time, that will be my absolute last round. I'm tired of trying and my shelf life as a PhD will be nearing it's expiration date at that time.
I'm bummed, but not devastated like I was last year. In part b/c I'm completely distracted by Bucket. In part b/c I've been away from a Uni and teaching for so long that I have perspective on what an academic life is like and I'm not sure I want it. As L keeps saying, it'd be one thing if pursuing this job would really bring you happiness or make tons of money, but from what we see, that's rarely the case. So in between feedings I'm going to start looking around the Old Pueblo for related-work and headhunters/employment agencies that I can work with to get my resume non-academic friendly.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying watching Bucket sleep in a pair of wool pants I knit for him. They are great covers for cloth diapers and keep him very warm. This picture also shows that I had no idea the size of newborns when I knit these pants. Enjoy:
Second verse same as the first.
Yup, it's that time again, when the lucky academic debutantes start hearing back regarding interviews for the jobs we all applied for in the fall. And, just like last year, it's looking like no one is asking me to dance this year either.
I applied to 4 positions, one big public research U, a large private U, a small liberal arts college, and a smaller state college. The research and private U's have sent out requests for additional materials for those on their short list, the small state college in L's home state has contacted applicants they want to interview. The SLAC is a top rated, highly competitive institution that doesn't appear to have contacted anyone yet. I suppose there's a minor chance they might ring me up, but I'm not holding my breath.
So what does this mean? 1) I'm glad I didn't spend the last weeks of my pregnancy putting together more teaching portfolios that no one is ever going to look at (seriously, it's like making your own prom dress and then never taking it off the hanger). 2) I'm also glad that we didn't book travel to the convention where the interviews I didn't receive will take place.
In the larger picture, I'm not sure and don't want to make any hard and fast decisions right now, but an academic career is not looking good for me. Whether it's my application or my field, something isn't clicking. I did a lot of work on my application this year, and got feedback from my multiple people at my home U, a colleague at smallish state college, and some faculty at SLACs. My diss was submitted, I had lots of grants and grant money, and a publication on my CV. The only thing I'm missing is a bigger name publication and more FT teaching experience (despite the enormous amount of teaching we do in our TAships at UC Ewok Village, they dont' seem to count for much on the market).
I guess my plan over the next few months is to 1) get my article finished, polished, submitted and hopefully published. 2) start looking for FT work in the late summer/ early fall. 3) Consider going back on the market in fall 2013, but unless I have academic-related employment at that time, that will be my absolute last round. I'm tired of trying and my shelf life as a PhD will be nearing it's expiration date at that time.
I'm bummed, but not devastated like I was last year. In part b/c I'm completely distracted by Bucket. In part b/c I've been away from a Uni and teaching for so long that I have perspective on what an academic life is like and I'm not sure I want it. As L keeps saying, it'd be one thing if pursuing this job would really bring you happiness or make tons of money, but from what we see, that's rarely the case. So in between feedings I'm going to start looking around the Old Pueblo for related-work and headhunters/employment agencies that I can work with to get my resume non-academic friendly.
In the meantime, I'm enjoying watching Bucket sleep in a pair of wool pants I knit for him. They are great covers for cloth diapers and keep him very warm. This picture also shows that I had no idea the size of newborns when I knit these pants. Enjoy:
Saturday, December 01, 2012
And baby makes 3
Lots has happened in the past few weeks, but it's only now that I've had the time and distance to be able to write about it. In terms of time, this is one of the first few times I've had both hands free at the same time so that I could actually write a proper post. In terms of distance, let's just say that though our son is here and healthy, things did not go as planned.
I'll be brief and spare you the gory details (though if you want them, I'd be happy to chat/email).
Friday Nov. 16 : We had a growth ultrasound scheduled because my fundal measurement (size of uterus) had decreased from 37 weeks growth to 35 weeks growth for the past 2 weeks. Baby felt small and the midwives were concerned. During the ultrasound we find out that the baby was only measuring about 35 weeks in terms of growth (I was 39 weeks pregnant), estimated 5.5 lbs, and my amniotic fluid was dangerously low. When I asked what that meant, the tech said, "well, today's a great day for a birthday."
We knew this was a possibility so we had the car packed and ready to go. For the health of the babe and myself, they decided to induce me on Friday night. Unfortunately, Nibbler was still in in his crappy position. The best way to get babies in that position to move into a more favorable one for birth meant that I needed to be able to walk around, change positions, etc in order to get him to shift. In non-birth terms: this meant an epidural would be unfavorable because it would inhibit my ability to move, and increase the potential he'd get stuck resulting in a c-section. I prepared to be chemically induced (where they give you oxytocin in order to chemically force your body into labor and contractions), w/o pain meds.
Phase 1/ Labor 1 - we start pitocin at 9pm. I labor un medicated until about 4:30 am (I made it to level 18 for those in the know). It's hard and painful, but L is there and is an incredible support. It's hard, but I'm confident I can do it, even if the contractions hit like a ton of bricks.
Complication 1: my blood pressure is really high. Dangerously high. It hasn't been high at all during my pregnancy but labor puts it through the roof and they can't lower it.
An option for lowering blood pressure in an otherwise healthy person like myself is to go with an epidural (it causes the vessels to dilate). Between the intensity of the contractions, the blood pressure, and the exhaustion, I go for the drugs.
Nov 17
Phase 2/ Labor 2 - we have to stop the oxytocin in order to put in the epi. I'm dilated to 5 cm - ok, but not great. After the drugs are in we start labor all over again. The epidural helps take the edge off, the blood pressure is lower, but continues to be worrisomely high (for us and the med staff).
Complication 2: We need to increase the oxytocin to force my body to dilate. Every time we get over a certain point, the intensity of the contractions puts the baby's heart into distress. We can't get the drugs high enough to get me open enough w/o possibly harming the baby.
Complication 3: I'm now running a fever between 99-102, so I'm drugged, contracting, and feverish.
Complication 4: I'm stuck at 5 cm.
Complication 5: He's still in a really crappy position, basically facing the inside of my right thigh. to try to get him to flip, L, me and the nurse are rotating me from my right side, to my hands and knees, to my left side, every 15 min or so for about 3 hours. Remember, I'm more or less numb from the waist down, but by sheer determination I manage to haul my body around to try to make things easier for babe and me.
By 2 pm, I've only dilated to 6 cm, my blood pressure continues to be a problem, the position continues to be a problem, and we're exhausted. The midwife is concerned and calls in the OB (a perinatologist) to consult. We're told that due to failure to progress and all of the other stresses, there is a 10% of a vaginal delivery. But, to quote the OB, "I can cut into you right now if you want- but I don't want to cut into you. You don't want me to cut into you. You'll heal better if I don't cut into you. So let's wait 1.5 hours, keep the oxytocin on really low and see what happens."
At this point, we spent the next hour or so preparing ourselves for a c-section. We'd been in a state of emergency for nearly 24 hours and were exhausted and scared. But, when the midwife came back to check on me, I measured 7 cm. Apparently Nibbler could handle the contractions if we kept them slow, low and steady. So we kept watching and waiting.
By 6:30, everyone was surprised that I was ready to push. We pushed for 2 hours and he finally shifted!
Into an even worse position. (seriously kid...). Unable to get him out unassisted, we had the choice of a c-section or a vacuum delivery. I went with the second option and he was born at 8:30 pm.
He was 5 lbs 10 oz. Definitely on the small side, and with a lot of head trauma. He also scratched the hell out of his face and was born with a nasty rash (we're just finishing the antibiotics today). Wasn't going to win any beauty contests, but beautiful to us. He also looked just like a mini-L, which was adorable on a whole variety of levels.
Recovery has been good. The first day was awful, but every day gets better (and they had me on a steady stream of vicodin and ibuprofen). Feeding was a problem because he has some of the issues of a preemie, but is now going well (more on that another time.
We went home after 48 hours and are adjusting like most new parents. Trying to figure out sleep, eating, and tending to the needs of our newest family member. He's a pretty calm baby, but like all newborns, has his fussy times. We started calling him "fuss bucket", which has now been shortened to just "Bucket" (as I will refer to him from this point onwards on this blog).
I'm so happy to not be pregnant. I feel so much better and happier now that all the pregnancy estrogen is draining out of my system. I don't do well with high levels of estrogen (big BCPs or being pregnant) and I'm so happy to be feeling like myself again. Plus, I can drink again - yay beer and wine!
Bucket had his bris 8 days after birth which gave a good opportunity for some nice pics:
I want to close with a shout out to the most amazing partner a person could ever wish for. L has been involved and supportive every step of the way. I could not have made it though this w/o his unending support and confidence in me, even when I had no confidence in myself. Bucket's birth has really underscored how well we work together as a team and I'm amazingly lucky to have such a dedicated partner.
I'll be brief and spare you the gory details (though if you want them, I'd be happy to chat/email).
Friday Nov. 16 : We had a growth ultrasound scheduled because my fundal measurement (size of uterus) had decreased from 37 weeks growth to 35 weeks growth for the past 2 weeks. Baby felt small and the midwives were concerned. During the ultrasound we find out that the baby was only measuring about 35 weeks in terms of growth (I was 39 weeks pregnant), estimated 5.5 lbs, and my amniotic fluid was dangerously low. When I asked what that meant, the tech said, "well, today's a great day for a birthday."
 |
| last pregnancy picture |
Phase 1/ Labor 1 - we start pitocin at 9pm. I labor un medicated until about 4:30 am (I made it to level 18 for those in the know). It's hard and painful, but L is there and is an incredible support. It's hard, but I'm confident I can do it, even if the contractions hit like a ton of bricks.
Complication 1: my blood pressure is really high. Dangerously high. It hasn't been high at all during my pregnancy but labor puts it through the roof and they can't lower it.
An option for lowering blood pressure in an otherwise healthy person like myself is to go with an epidural (it causes the vessels to dilate). Between the intensity of the contractions, the blood pressure, and the exhaustion, I go for the drugs.
Nov 17
Phase 2/ Labor 2 - we have to stop the oxytocin in order to put in the epi. I'm dilated to 5 cm - ok, but not great. After the drugs are in we start labor all over again. The epidural helps take the edge off, the blood pressure is lower, but continues to be worrisomely high (for us and the med staff).
Complication 2: We need to increase the oxytocin to force my body to dilate. Every time we get over a certain point, the intensity of the contractions puts the baby's heart into distress. We can't get the drugs high enough to get me open enough w/o possibly harming the baby.
Complication 3: I'm now running a fever between 99-102, so I'm drugged, contracting, and feverish.
Complication 4: I'm stuck at 5 cm.
Complication 5: He's still in a really crappy position, basically facing the inside of my right thigh. to try to get him to flip, L, me and the nurse are rotating me from my right side, to my hands and knees, to my left side, every 15 min or so for about 3 hours. Remember, I'm more or less numb from the waist down, but by sheer determination I manage to haul my body around to try to make things easier for babe and me.
By 2 pm, I've only dilated to 6 cm, my blood pressure continues to be a problem, the position continues to be a problem, and we're exhausted. The midwife is concerned and calls in the OB (a perinatologist) to consult. We're told that due to failure to progress and all of the other stresses, there is a 10% of a vaginal delivery. But, to quote the OB, "I can cut into you right now if you want- but I don't want to cut into you. You don't want me to cut into you. You'll heal better if I don't cut into you. So let's wait 1.5 hours, keep the oxytocin on really low and see what happens."
At this point, we spent the next hour or so preparing ourselves for a c-section. We'd been in a state of emergency for nearly 24 hours and were exhausted and scared. But, when the midwife came back to check on me, I measured 7 cm. Apparently Nibbler could handle the contractions if we kept them slow, low and steady. So we kept watching and waiting.
By 6:30, everyone was surprised that I was ready to push. We pushed for 2 hours and he finally shifted!
Into an even worse position. (seriously kid...). Unable to get him out unassisted, we had the choice of a c-section or a vacuum delivery. I went with the second option and he was born at 8:30 pm.
 |
| Our little cone head... (he comes from France) |
 |
| First family photo. |
He was 5 lbs 10 oz. Definitely on the small side, and with a lot of head trauma. He also scratched the hell out of his face and was born with a nasty rash (we're just finishing the antibiotics today). Wasn't going to win any beauty contests, but beautiful to us. He also looked just like a mini-L, which was adorable on a whole variety of levels.
Recovery has been good. The first day was awful, but every day gets better (and they had me on a steady stream of vicodin and ibuprofen). Feeding was a problem because he has some of the issues of a preemie, but is now going well (more on that another time.
 |
| 24 hours later and my hair even looks cute! I also noticed that I wore my Scripps sweatshirt through labor and am rocking a Pomona skirt in this photo. |
I'm so happy to not be pregnant. I feel so much better and happier now that all the pregnancy estrogen is draining out of my system. I don't do well with high levels of estrogen (big BCPs or being pregnant) and I'm so happy to be feeling like myself again. Plus, I can drink again - yay beer and wine!
 |
| Oona and Bucket's first meeting. She promptly ran away. She's also still substantially outweighs him. |
 |
| Best Thanksgiving present ever. |
 |
| With friends and their normal sized 3 month old. |
I want to close with a shout out to the most amazing partner a person could ever wish for. L has been involved and supportive every step of the way. I could not have made it though this w/o his unending support and confidence in me, even when I had no confidence in myself. Bucket's birth has really underscored how well we work together as a team and I'm amazingly lucky to have such a dedicated partner.
 |
| My favorite picture of all time. |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)