Bucket is 4 weeks old tomorrow. At this point in game I've discovered a few things about new parenthood that despite copious research and endless conversations with new parents, I never fully realized. Oh sure, we knew we'd be sleep deprived, that new babies smell wonderful, that newborn poop is explosive, etc, etc, but here's a few that have thrown us for a loop.
1) I love coffee more now than I have at any time in my life. You know when they say, you fall in love with your partner all over again, and more deeply than ever, when you see them with your child? Ok, yeah, that happened... but that happens every single morning with me and the coffee pot. After feeding every 1.5-2 hours from 1am to 8am and finally getting 2 hours of interrupted sleep b/c my most wonderful husband in the world is holding Bucket, there is no joy on earth like that first cup of coffee. I thought grad school made me love coffee, and you may think "but I"m a coffee connoisseur, I have 5 ways of roasting and hand pressing my own specially harvested-shade-grown-volcanic-soli-cultivated coffee, I REALLY love coffee." And, sorry, you're wrong. Or, you will discover and even deeper love for pre-ground, made in the drip machine that has a timer on it coffee, than you have every had before.
2) Breastfeeding kinda sucks. ha ha. no seriously. It's great for Bucket. It's great for my figure (so was all the exercise and good eating while pregnant, to be honest), and it's super cute cuddling bonding time. Plus formula is pretty stinky and runs into money... but breastfeeding is hard fucking work - esp if you are also pumping to build a stash so your partner can give bottles and you can give your breasts a break. It's.. uncomfortable. It's time consuming. You leak everywhere (bet bamboozle bamboo pads, expensive but worth every single penny). It's energy sapping. And when they say newborns feed every 1.5-2 hours, that from the START of the feed... which in our case is 25-30 per breast. Plus a 10 min break for burps in between, a change in between, and the changing after... generally putting "feeding time to about 45 min if I'm lucky up to 80-90 min - which leaves 45-30 for "sleeping when the baby sleeps". Yeah, so just be ready for that.
3) Shift work sucks. The hardest thing for L and I is that Bucket will not fall asleep unless held. He's beginning to fall asleep in the swing and we are hoping this is the beginning of a new dawn, b/c if someone's holding the baby that someone is always awake. We knew that sex would be off the table - between the lack of sleep, the minimum time between feedings, the leaking, and my episotomy (ouch) - we were prepared for that. What we weren't prepared for is missing the intimate time we get from just sleeping in the same bed. Doesn't work. We've tried co-sleeping in a bassinet but he wont' sleep for more than 15 min ad then goes into 5 min fuss/talk/1 min sleep patterns. Sleeping next to me is better, meaning 3 min fuss/talk and 2 min sleep... but not really doable (plus, see feeding schedule above - I can't nurse comfortably in bed b/c he spends the entire hour talking to my breast, and the sheer size of them requires some infrastructure I can't get in bed).
We did get one glorious 4 hour morning when my sister was here and gave us a respite - but we miss each other. Now that he's beginning to sleep in the mamaroo with white noise, we're going to try that for bedtime going with the idea that whatever gets him and me sleep is worth it, we'll deal with adjusting him to a bed later. Plus, at this point I desperately miss my husband and sleeping partner of 12 years. This is definitely the longest time we've slept apart since my time in London or our year long distance. Hopefully we'll all be able to sleep in the bedroom, but if not, I'll be in the nursery with Bucket in the swing and L will sleep in our bedroom so that he can be awake enough to spell me in the mornings.
3a) every new family needs 3 miracle blankets. Swaddling is the bomb.
4) Bucket is adorable. I love him dearly, even when I'm frustrated, and despite the complaints, I'm genuinely soaking up the baby snuggles, poop cannons (he likes pooping en plein aire), and cuddling time. Plus I think the baby-related happy hormones are dulling the pain of the job market news :)
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