Under a Storm Cloud

It's still dumping here in SC but really the point is that I'm in a bad mood. It started yesterday and I just can't seem to shake it. Part of it is that I hate the rain - I hate not being able to walk around w/o getting wet and I hate not being able to go outside for sunshine, fresh air, and a long run. But it's more than that: sometimes (and seemingly more often than not) I hate being a humanities grad student at this university because of the joke of a library we're stuck with. To begin with I'm being charged $240 for books I returned but the library claims I didn't. Now, 2 of those I returned after my QE back in May of 2008, the third I brought in person to the return window and is listed as "not checked out" on the library website. But they haven't processed the return and can only remove the charges after I submit an appeals form - which I did, weeks ago. But somehow, my forms got lost. Just like my requests in email, hardcopy, and in person, for the library to search their stores to find the books I swear to fucking god they lost - got lost. And now, even though I've appealed all of them ON TIME, because the library didn't process my appeals ON TIME (if they don't get the wheels in motion on time, even though I submitted appeals back in December, somehow I'm responsible), I getting sent to collections. They've told me that when the find the book, process the appeal, and then get back to me, they should be able to reimburse me the money. Should.

Now, this wouldn't be so much of a problem if we had a decent, normally stocked library. I'd be able to go to said decent, normally stocked library and use the books there. But because Borders actually rivals our library's "collections" the majority of the books I need are either at "real" UCs like UCLA or UCB, or in our Norther CA Regional Storage Facility. Because, you know, libraries aren't storage facilities for books, so we need to have this off-site facility. And, because everything is not here, I need to request it. Which I can't do. Because my goddamn account is frozen because the library is taking their sweet ass time process my appeals. I'd really LIKE to be able to write and work on my dissertation but I feel like UCSC makes it as hard as possible to actually do so. I wish I had just bought the damn books in the first place.

On top of that, Recreation/OPERS have charged me for an extra dance class and I'm having to appeal with them too.

There isn't one particular thing that has me pissed off, the whole situation has me pissed off, but what really gets my goat is that I came back here from London feeling very positive and upbeat and I feel like I'm getting seriously bogged down. It's all bad news from the department, from billing, from the library, all the time. I'm tired of it, really, really tired of it. And it's hard to keep yourself going when I feel like I'm dealing with all this bullshit for job training in a profession I likely won't even be able to work in b/c there are no jobs. It's weeks like these (and yeah, it is only 9:52 on Tuesday) that make me wish I had applied for the admin position in my dept that just opened. I'd have a pay check, set achievable goals, and maybe even some spare time to dick off on the interwebs.

So if you see me and I'm grumpy, I apologize in advance. Here's hoping that at least the rain will move on soon and improve that part of my mood.