Holy Crap, I'm Back

I turned in my QE dossier last Friday, did conference organization duties on Sunday, and am not catching up on all the Russian history I've missed while doing the previously mentioned tasks. The advantage is that I can sum up Russian History in a few words. It sucked, all the time, just about everywhere. Yeah, there are a few more details, and maybe the soldiers progressed from rags tied to their feet to old leather tied to their feet, but we're talking about pretty miserable conditions for a lot of people for many, many years. Fortunately, filling in the details is no biggie.

My QE is in about a week and a half and, like kungfuramone, I'm not too worried about the whole thing. The Sith Lord greeted my yesterday morning by saying, "if you're not completely worried, you're doing it wrong." I stared at him with the deer in headlight look for about 20 seconds before realizing,and then telling him, that I wasn't actually worried and I thought that meant I was doing it right. I know my shit, I'm fast on my feet, and being afraid of talking is an anathema to my very existence (even in French, and even when it comes out part spanish, part French and part German!) Hell, Sith has asked me "can I talk now?" (more than once in fact, sigh).

I actually see this as an opportunity to meet with four people I respect and talk about my and my work. It's every actor's dream: I'm the center of attention with my own private audience. Hell, I'd sing a solo if I could. What it comes down to is:
1) I know my material
2) I know the weakness of my material/arguments and am prepared to address them, maybe even upfront them and try to throw everyone off :)
3) I love to talk
4) I get to make even more cookies for my committee
and, most importantly,
5) I'm not going to fail. and If I've really been deluding myself into thinking I can actually do this historian thing and they revel to me that I'm dead wrong, that's ok. I take my MA, I go teach high school. I go back to Cornerstone and get my old (well-paid, well-benefited) job back. I teach kindergarten and fingerpaint the rest of my life away.

My point is, this is not a test of whether or not I can hack it. I know I can. So at that point I feel comfortable deciding to sit back, relax, and look forward to the fireworks.